Dating is a minefield for men. Apps, IRL, how long, too short—it’s never-ending. One thing we can guarantee is that becoming your best self is the ticket to dating success.
Women are complex creatures. It takes time and training to master the art of talking to, living with and (shock, horror) getting married to women. And at a time when it’s more tempting than ever to Netflix yourself to sleep than it is to get out there and make a fool of yourself in a bar, it’s essential to keep your skills sharp.
So: do your research, get out in the field, and master the art. With these nine tried and tested books for helping you get good at approaching, talking to, flirting with and making love to women, your excuses are now as dry as our unimpressed eyes when you tell us, “But it’s hard.”
Models – Mark Manson
If you only read one dating book. Make it this one.
Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one (like The Game). Through honesty and being an all-round genuine and awesome bloke, Mark Manson (the same author who brought us ‘The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck’) teaches men to approach.
According to him the key is to be honest and direct, which shows her that you find her attractive and sexy; but not hung up on her response. He also teaches men how to deal with rejection and use it to their advantage. A great read.
The Way Of The Superior Man – David Deida
2/9
Once you’ve mastered the art of talking to women you need to master yourself and better understand relationships. David Deida will explain the types of people that attract one another, relationship behaviour and how ‘real’ men should approach their love life. This is a more advanced book, so it’s best you don’t pick this one first.
Conversation Casanova – Dave Perrotta
3/9
Too many dating books sound like convoluted bibles of psychological warfare. The reality is: most guys just want practical tips on how to start—and maintain—a conversation anytime, anywhere. If this sounds like you: this is your book. The Kama Sutra of conversation, this book is a goldmine.
The Game – Neil Strauss
4/9Part fiction, part fact, The Game was released about 6 years ago to much hype and buzz. It’s Neil Strauss’s story of how he went from dork author to pick up artist.
The book details his time with other dating coaches, and how he was able to transform himself from AFC (average frustrated chump) to a guy who could talk to any woman in any situation. The techniques are dated and lame (read: sleazy) and should never be used, but it’s a good book to understand the basics.
Note: This book is more entertainment than advice.
Text Appeal – Michael Masters
5/9
We still believe in calling a girl, but let’s be real: most of your conversation will be done via text. People now text more than talk on the phone.
Learn the tricks of how to talk to women via text and social media. Learn how to be cocky—but funny—without coming across as a jerk.
Most importantly: learn the subtle art of what to write and what not to write in a text message. Good for fine-tuning your online dating skills.
101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die – Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James
6/9
Looking to add some chilli to your vanilla-flavoured routine? If you’re moderately flexible, have a penchant for risk-taking and want to spice up your sex life, this ‘geographical karma sutra’ provides a list of everyday places where venturesome people can have sex—without too much difficulty.
Each location features a difficulty rating, helpful icons to indicate hazards or special considerations for each place (e.g. if there’s a chance you might get arrested; if there are time constraints; if there’s a risk of embarrassment; or if any special equipment is needed), and much more. So whether you enjoy a good roll in the hay (or in the reptile house at the zoo), this is the book for you.
The Sex Book – Suzi Godson
7/9
From finding the G-spot and using sex toys, to cybersex and optimal sex positions, this book has it all; the perfect option for when you want to know something about sex but are too embarrassed to ask.
“Whatever your orientation, outlook, age, or experience, if you have questions, here are straightforward, accessible, and adventurous answers.”
What really sets this book apart from the rest is that it was put together by a team of doctors, psychologists, and sex experts, meaning it’s not just about pleasure: it’s about health too. An unmatched guide, The Sex Book offers a wealth of information balanced with interesting practical and personal experience.
How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure – Lou Paget
8/9Not one to whip out on the bus, but none of the best books are… Where women have Cosmo or Cleo Magazine, I think guys miss out on the nitty-gritty of sex, so make use of the author’s fifteen years of sexuality research.
Just don’t leave this one around for Mum to find. Lou explains “sex things” in detail and helps point the novice or experienced man in a more satisfying direction for both.
The Kama Sutra – Alain Daniélou (Translator)
9/9
If The Game is the original pick up book, the Kama Sutra is the original sex position book. Written in the fourth century A.D by a Brahmin and a religious scholar called Vatsyayana, the Kama Sutra is the world’s oldest and most widely read guide to the pleasures and techniques of sex.
Until 1993, the only English translation of his Hindu love classic was that of the famous English explorer Sir Richard Burton (published in 1883).
This version, translated by Alain Daniélou, brings the magic book to life.
