By Manish Puri
Forgive me for starting with such a blunt question.
I know that, in common parlance, ‘snob’ is a pejorative term. However, when it comes to matters of dressing, it’s worth recalling the words of Yves Saint Laurent who said, “we must never confuse elegance with snobbery”.
So, in this context, given there seems to be room for confusion, I don’t really consider ‘snob’ to be an insulting epithet – because surely my accusers meant I was ‘elegant’. Right?!
Nonetheless, to avoid accusations that we’re cherry picking the meaning of the word, it’s incumbent upon each of us to apply the term fairly and consistently.
I mean, what if you think you’re a menswear snob, but you’re really not? You risk being labelled delusional. And conversely, what if you don’t consider yourself to be a snob, but you actually are? Then you’re just selling yourself short!
Fortunately, I’m here to help. The following multiple-choice quiz will quickly, and with unfailing accuracy, identify if you’re a snob or not.
To those that don’t make the grade, my apologies. You’ll find plenty of support material in the Permanent Style archives. Please feel free to read through it and take the quiz again in a year or two.
Good luck!
1. I like to shop…
a) In the sales
b) Responsibly
c) At establishments with Latin mottos
2. My tailor is…
a) Also my dry cleaner
b) A respected member of our local high street
c) On first-name terms with all of my immediate family
3. What goes well with a three-piece?
a) Fries and a Coke
b) A nice silk tie
c) A knowing smirk
4. Do you like a blazer?
a) Definitely! Me and the lads had one last Friday: a few pints, cheeky Ruby, and clubbing till 3am
b) I just repurpose my suit jacket
c) Does the Pope wear Gammarelli socks?
5. What goes through your head when the invitation says ‘Black Tie’?
a) No worries, I’ve got one from me gran’s funeral
b) I’d like to go, but it sounds intimidating so I’ll politely decline
c) I must have my bib fronts restarched
6. Complete this phrase: The bottom…
a) Of the ninth
b) Line
c) Button must never be fastened
7. Where’s Saville Row?
a) Do I look like a cab driver to you?
b) I think it’s somewhere off Regent’s street
c) Are you deliberately trying to provoke me by spelling it wrong?
8. What do you think of Drake’s latest drop?
a) He’s not done anything decent since ‘Hotline Bling‘
b) They’re such an exciting brand
c) I still love them, but they were better when they didn’t have a website and only sold ties
9. The Japanese make the best…
a) Lovers
b) Sushi
c) Denim
10. I dress…
b) To impress
a) My salads with oil and balsamic vinegar
c) Left
11. Four-in-hand is…
a) The technique I use to carry pints to the table
b) Presumably worth eight in the bush
c) Basic AF
12. The best reason to propose to someone is because…
a) You’ve got them into trouble
b) You love them dearly
c) You need a good excuse to commission a new suit
13. At a recent wedding, you made the Bride…
a) Put in a good word for you with the Bridesmaids
b) A hand-drawn card congratulating her on the marriage
c) Cry because you looked better than her
14. High-waisted is…
a) A good description of a weekend away with the lads
b) A trouser style I’m not sure I can pull off
c) For wimps. If they’re not touching the ribs I consider them to be lowriders.
15. MTM means:
a) Man to man marking in football
b) Mark to market
c) You’re too poor for bespoke
16. What’s your attitude to weight gain?
a) Just means there’s more of me to love
b) Nothing a little exercise and self-discipline won’t fix
c) Something for my tailor to worry about
17. Madras is…
a) My favourite curry
b) No longer the correct name. I think you mean Chennai?
c) The only shirting I wear on holiday
18. Complete this sentence: I love my single…
a) Life
b) Malt whiskey collection
c) Pleat underwear
19. What’s your favourite House style?
a) Electro
b) Georgian
c) A proprietary silhouette developed with an ex-Savile Row tailor who’s 80, blind and has a sewing thumb and index finger that have fused together like a crab. He’s also closed to new clients – not that I’d ever disclose his details to you.
20. My mother always used to say to me…
a) You’re a huge disappointment to me and your father
b) You can achieve anything you put your mind to
c) There. Doesn’t a higher collar band frame your face nicely?
21. My father drove me to…
a) Drink
b) Succeed
c) My first bespoke appointment
22. Whenever I type the letter ‘P’ into my web browser, the first website the autofill shows is…
a) Pornhub.com
b) Primark.com
c) Permanentstyle.com
Mostly a)’s
No offence, but how the heck did you even end up on this site? Also, you might have a few issues you need to work on with a trained therapist.
Mostly b)’s
You seem to know the odd thing about menswear, but I’m afraid you’re far too balanced and grounded to ever become a true menswear snob.
Mostly c)’s
Congratulations! You’re a complete and utter menswear snob. Drop me a DM if you want to go halves on a Palazzo at Pitti Uomo.
Manish is @the_daily_mirror on Instagram
